I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
