have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
