I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
