Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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