he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
