dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
