Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
