You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
