He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
