for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
