We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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