After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have aggressive nipples.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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