all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
