her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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