i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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