Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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