I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we made out on top of his cat.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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