is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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