I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
