Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
