I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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