dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
