I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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