He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
