Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
