I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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