I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dear god my vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
