I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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