Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
