Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
