How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
