We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
