How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need moral support for this bender
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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