Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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