I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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