Sry I called you an 8
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
