U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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