I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
