We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
