Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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