Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
