just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
