...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had to cum in my sink.
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