Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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