the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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