And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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