why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
