Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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