so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
