Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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