she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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