Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
