Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
