I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
