Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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